Resilience is not what happens to you; rather, it is how you react to, respond to, and recover from what happens to you.
Resilience is not a trait that people either have or do not have, because it involves behaviours, thoughts and actions that can be learnt and developed by anyone.
Resilience is your ability to cope when things go wrong. People often describe it as your ability to:
- Bounce back
- Deal with challenges
- Cope with what life throws at you.
Resilience does not mean that a person does not experience stress.
Resilience is not perfection.
It is the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats. A combination of factors contributes to our level of resilience.
When facing a challenge, it is important to step back to get some perspective and ask yourself:
- How big is the problem?
- Am I making it bigger than it really is?
- What can I do to get back on track?
- What can I learn from this?
- How can I move forward?
Keep in mind that resilience is a journey and that challenges are part of life. We learn everyday to be more resilient.
How to Build Resilience
There are many ways that students and young people can build and boost their resilience.
Social Engagement:
- Cultivating social connections and avoiding social isolation
- Positive and supportive peer interactions
- Making new friends, joining new groups
- Volunteering and be an active member of the community
- Making sure not to spend too much of your time on screens, and prioritising face to face interactions
Self-awareness and self-care:
Understand your own strengths, weaknesses, values, emotions and ask yourself “How did I cope in the past?”, “What are my goals?”, “What are my limits?”, “What are my needs?”, “How do I usually cope with things?”. Self-care also includes:
- Eating well
- Being active
- Having a healthy sleeping routine
- Managing stress
- Practising yoga, relaxation, gratitude
- Having fun and laughing
Attention and focus:
- Focus on one thing at a time
- Avoid multi-tasking
- Turn off your phone or other distractions
Purpose and meaning:
- Develop realistic goals
- Help others
- Be open to change
- Accept that some things are out of your control
You can keep building your resilience everyday by setting realistic goals, avoiding negative self-talk, approaching new people, avoiding self-blame and being aware of your mindset.
Author: Meggy Delaunay, PG Dip Psych Practice, PG Dip Dev Psych, M Genetic Psych, B Psych, MAPS.
Meggy Delaunay is a psychologist who primarily works with children, adolescents and young adults. She is a registered Psychologist in Australia, New Zealand and France, and can provide therapy sessions in English and French.
To make an appointment try Online Booking. Alternatively, you can call Vision Psychology Brisbane on (07) 3088 5422.