Emotions aren’t enemies; they’re indicators. Think of them as little signals on a dashboard, letting you know what’s happening underneath the hood. Often, these signals are rooted in our unconscious thoughts and core beliefs.
To help visualise this, consider the iceberg model frequently used in psychology and counselling. It illustrates how emotions operate beneath the surface of our awareness, much like the bulk of an iceberg lies hidden beneath the water. At the visible tip of the iceberg are the emotions we are consciously aware of and express, such as anger, frustration, or happiness. These are the feelings we easily identify and often share with others. However, beneath the surface, there lies a much larger mass of emotions that are less obvious and often go unrecognised. These deeper emotions can include fear, shame, hurt, sadness, and insecurity. They are the underlying feelings that drive the more visible emotions. For example, visible anger might be fuelled by deeper feelings of fear or hurt.
These hidden emotions carry profound significance. They act as messengers, helping us understand ourselves and our inner experiences better. By paying attention to these signals, we can learn about our needs, desires, and areas that require healing. Ignoring or dismissing them robs us of the chance to understand and connect with ourselves more deeply.
The Impact of Suppressed Emotions
Think of emotions like a volcano. If we suppress them, they may lie dormant for a while but will eventually erupt, manifesting in outbursts of anger, episodes of depression, or physical symptoms like headaches or stomach aches. Research shows that often addictive and avoidance behaviours stem from unmet needs and unresolved trauma (1).
Facing Our Emotions
Instead of pushing our emotions aside or denying them, we should face them head-on with courage. This involves recognising when they arise, understanding where they come from, and allowing ourselves to fully feel them. By addressing the hidden parts of our emotional iceberg, we can prevent sudden outbursts and promote greater well-being. Engaging with our emotions in this way not only helps us heal but also strengthens our relationships with others.
Practical Tips for Exploring Emotions
- Consider Therapy: Therapy offers a safe and supportive environment where you can explore your emotions and unresolved pain. Think of your therapist as a compassionate guide who listens without judgment. For example, during therapy sessions, you might work through past experiences that have been difficult to talk about, helping you understand and heal from them (2,3).
- Increase Your Emotional Literacy: Developing a better understanding of your emotions means recognising, interpreting, and responding to both your own feelings and those of others. For instance, if you find yourself feeling anxious, try to identify the specific emotions and triggers behind it. Naming your emotions, like saying “I feel overwhelmed because of the upcoming project deadline,” can help reduce their intensity and make them easier to manage. This practice not only helps in processing emotions but also improves your communication with others (4).
- Tune into Your Body: Did you know your body is often sending you messages before your brain even catches on? Pay attention to the physical sensations that come with different emotional states, such as changes in heart rate, muscle tension, or shallow breathing. For example, if you notice your shoulders tensing up when you’re stressed, take a moment to do some deep breathing exercises or gentle stretches. This practice enhances self-awareness and mindfulness, allowing you to manage your emotions more effectively. Sharing these observations with a trusted friend or partner can also foster mutual understanding and support (5).
By incorporating these practices into your daily routine, you can cultivate a more compassionate approach to understanding and managing your emotions. And remember, it’s important to be kind to yourself in this process. Even as a therapist, I often need a little help managing my own emotions. Think 
of it as a journey we’re all on together, learning and growing along the way.
To book an appointment with Sabrina, select Online Booking or call M1 Psychology Brisbane on (07) 3067 9129.
References
- Linehan MM. Cognitive-behavioral treatment of borderline personality disorder. Guilford Press; 1993. Available from: Amazon.
- Hofmann SG, Asnaani A, Vonk IJ, Sawyer AT, Fang A. The efficacy of cognitive behavioral therapy: A review of meta-analyses. Cogn Ther Res. 2012;36(5):427-40. doi:10.1007/s10608-012-9476-1.
- Leichsenring F, Rabung S. The efficacy of short-term psychodynamic psychotherapy in specific psychiatric disorders: A meta-analysis. Arch Gen Psychiatry. 2008;65(7):733-41. doi:10.1001/archpsyc.65.7.733.
- Lieberman MD, Inagaki TK, Tabibnia G, Crockett MJ. Subjective responses to emotional stimuli during labeling, reappraisal, and distraction. Emotion. 2007;7(4):468-80. doi:10.1037/1528-3542.7.4.468.
- Payne P, Levine PA, Crane-Godreau MA. Somatic experiencing: Using interoception and proprioception as core elements of trauma therapy. Front Psychol. 2015;6:93. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2015.00093.
- Goleman D. Emotional intelligence: Why it can matter more than IQ. Bantam Books; 1995. Available from: Amazon.
- Siegel DJ. The developing mind: How relationships and the brain interact to shape who we are. Guilford Press; 2012. Available from: Amazon.