Coping with Bereavement:
Losing a loved one is one of life’s most challenging experiences. Bereavement, the experience of losing someone close, can affect every aspect of our lives – emotional, physical, and social. I know that personally, as I experienced it more than once. Understanding the grieving process and finding strategies to cope can help you navigate this difficult time.
Symptoms of Bereavement
Grief often begins with an initial shock, leaving you feeling numb or detached. This response is a natural way of protecting yourself from the overwhelming reality of loss. Over time, intense emotions such as sadness, anger, guilt, or even relief may surface.
Grief can also impact your physical health. You may experience fatigue, changes in appetite, trouble sleeping, or a weakened immune system. Emotionally, you may feel isolated, anxious, or even experience mood swings.
Adjusting to the Loss
The grieving process varies widely between individuals – there is no “right” way to grieve. While some may openly express their emotions, others might find themselves retreating inward. The process of grieving involves gradually adjusting to life without the loved one, finding new ways to focus on their memory, and rediscovering a sense of normalcy.
Stages of Grief
Psychologist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross outlined five stages of grief:
- Denial: A state of shock or disbelief, where the loss may feel unreal.
- Anger: Frustration and questioning why the loss occurred.
- Bargaining: Reflecting on “what-ifs” or “if onlys” to regain control.
- Depression: Deep sadness and reflection on the loss.
- Acceptance: Acknowledging the loss and finding ways to move forward.
These stages are not linear, and you may cycle through them in different orders or revisit them at various times.
Seeking Support and Help
Grief can feel isolating, but it’s important to reach out for emotional support. Talking to trusted friends or family members can provide comfort. For deeper emotional struggles, consulting a doctor or a mental health professional is essential.
Psychological therapies, such as counselling or psychotherapy, can help you process your emotions and develop healthy coping mechanisms.
Alternative Strategies for Healing
· Breathing retraining: Grief often brings physical tension or shallow breathing. Breathing exercises can help calm your nervous system and reduce feelings of anxiety.
· Conventional medicine: If grief is accompanied by prolonged depression or anxiety, your doctor might suggest medication alongside therapy.
· Mind-body practices: Activities such as yoga exercises, meditation, or mindfulness can promote relaxation and help you reconnect with your emotions.
Moving Toward Acceptance
Accepting the loss does not mean forgetting your loved one. It involves making peace with their absence and finding ways to honour their memory. This might include creating a memorial, participating in activities they loved, or simply cherishing their influence on your life.
Health and Grief
Grief takes a toll on your body and mind. Prolonged or complicated grief, which interferes with daily functioning, may require professional intervention. Remember, everyone grieves differently. What works for one person may not work for another. The key is to remain compassionate with yourself and seek support when needed.
In conclusion, coping with bereavement is a deeply personal journey. By understanding the grieving process, recognizing its impact on health, and seeking emotional support, you can find ways to heal. Whether through psychological therapies, breathing retraining, or simply the passage of time, it is possible to move forward while keeping the memory of your loved one close to your heart.
Author: Nenad Bakaj, MHumServ (RehabCouns), BSocWk, DipAppSci (Comm&HumServ), AMHSW, MAAC, MAASW, JP (Qld)
Nenad Bakaj is a Brisbane based Clinical Counsellor, Accredited Mental Health Social Worker, Life Coach and Bigger Bite Out Of Life Trainer with a keen interest in positive psychology, mental health and wellbeing, and is continually developing his professional skills and knowledge. Nenad enjoys working with adolescents and young adults, as well as older clients, and feels it is a privilege to be able to support them.
To make an appointment with Nenad Bakaj, try Online Booking. Alternatively, you can call Vision Psychology Brisbane on (07) 3088 5422 or M1 Psychology Loganholme on (07) 3067 9129.
References:
Grief Australia. (2022). Grief and Bereavement Information. Retrieved from grief.org.au
Kubler-Ross, E., & Kessler, D. (2014). On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss. Scribner.
Neimeyer, R. A. (Ed.). (2016). Techniques of Grief Therapy: Creative Practices for Counseling the Bereaved. Routledge.
Worden, J. W. (2018). Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy: A Handbook for the Mental Health Practitioner (5th ed.). Springer Publishing.